A Day in Our Family's Life...with Diabetes

Thanks goes to Karen, my knitting friend, over at Bitter-Sweet, for rallying the bloggers in the DOC for the 1st annual Diabetes Blog Week!  It's an awesome idea.  And she already has a list of 100+ bloggers set to type their hearts out this week!  Way to go Karen!!

And, it's not too late to join in the fun!  Just head over to her blog and let her know you're in...She's even gone the extra mile and given us some great topics.  I totally appreciate that because I could use a little jumpstart this week.  : )

DAY 1:  A Day in Our Family's Life...with Diabetes

6:30     Wake up; get myself together

6:45     Go down the hall...wake up Middle C, wake up Big C, go in and do first bg check on C...123...beautiful!

7:00     Set out breakfast stuff...make lunches...re-stock C's bag...bolus C accordingly...say the words "hurry up!" about 100 times...teeth brushed, hair fixed, sunscreen on...

7:50     Out the door with C and Middle C...pick up one of C's friends

8:00     At school...quick prayer...hugs and kisses...say bye to Middle C...walk w/C to Health Office...drop off diabetes bag and snacks...chat with Health Aide...one more hug to C

8:20     Back home...turn on computer...put a load of laundry in...COFFEE...chat with Big C as he gets ready

8:40     Out the door with Big C...pick up one of his friends

8:50     Drop off the boys at middle school crosswalk  (no hugs in public...just a "see ya later" and a "have a great day!"...got my hug at home!)

9:00     Back home...back to work

9:45     Get a call from school:  C's at 101...Health Aide will bolus for a 10 gram snack

9:50     work, cleaning, laundry, errands

11:45   Get a call from school:  C's at 89...Health Aide will bolus for 31 gram lunch

12:00   Lunch for me!!

1:00     Get a call from school:  C's at 167...good number prior to PE class...no correction bolus...back to work for me

2:05     Pick up C and little friend...drop friend home

2:15     At home...wash up...bg check:  118...bolus for snack...18 grams...start homework

2:50     Pick up Middle C

3:00     Finish up snacks...homework...piano practice...talk about the day

3:30     Pick up Big C...rinse and repeat!

3:45     bg check:  178...good number prior to gymnastics...detach her from the pump

4:00     Take C to gymnastics class...hang around class with boys dressed in baseball practice clothes of course!...leave class to drop off Middle C to his practice

4:45     Back to gymnastics to pick up C...bg check:  113...perfect!...re-attach pump...

5:00     Drop Big C off at his practice

5:15     Back home to dinner already prepared in the crock pot...fix salad...C sets the table

6:30     Everyone's back home including the husband...bg check:  100 (love that #!)...DINNER!

7:00     Dishes...showers (unhook C from pump..."free shower" perhaps?)...finish homework...TV...relaxing...site change for C

8:30     Goodnight to C and Middle C

9:00     Goodnight to Big C

9:30     Bg check:  125...relax...finish up computer work...TV shows...

11:00   Check on kids...one more bg check:  119

Sleep...

Okay...I confess that the above scheduled day has NEVER happened.  Maybe it is my perfect day with diabetes...Maybe it's what I'd like to experience on a regular basis, with diabetes.  But the truth is:  there are no typical days with this disease.  There are those times when C will have several in-range numbers in a row...and it's awesome!  And, those readings of "100"...love them!  (Sometimes we love them so much, we take pictures of the meter!!)  But honestly, diabetes does not behave in any typical pattern day to day.  In fact, C could eat the exact same foods, same amounts, same boluses of insulin...even the same amount and intensity of activity and get a huge range of numbers.

It's tiring.  It's frustrating.  And sometimes, it's very unmanageable.  But, we persevere.  We must.  We continue to strive for those in-range numbers, 70-120 or so...

On many days, there are mistakes made.  C's diabetes bag might be forgotten at home.  I might overlook that she's down to just 1 test strip.  There have been countless trips back to school.  The nurse might be absent and the checks are up to me to do.  There have been mornings when we've forgotten to bolus for breakfast and she ends up at 427.  I've raced down to school to do emergency site changes when the tubing has major air trapped in it or her site was pulled out at recess.  Or, maybe she's had a couple big numbers in a row and, no matter, how much we correct her, she just doesn't come down.

So, a day in our family's life...with diabetes?  It's different every day.  It keeps us on our toes. 

...as for coming home to a prepared meal in the crock pot??...rarely does that happen!

A Real Sob Fest

This has never happened before.  It seriously pulled the rug right out from underneath my feet...and it hurt (we have tile floors.)
C does not remember life before diabetes.  She was still a baby when the diagnosis was given.  Finger pokes, injections, site changes, 3 a. m. gulps of juice?  They're just a part of her life.  She's never known differently.  In fact, I honestly marvel at how she handles it all...most of the time.  She is a strong girl.  So her reaction the other day really took me by surprise.
_______________________

For us, I would estimate that 80 % of site changes are relatively painless and go off without a hitch.  But then there is the other 20 %.  For sometimes unknown reasons, the infusion set just doesn't cooperate.  It may hit scar tissue or a nerve and it can send C an excrutiating *zing* of pain...I hate when that happens.  When this is the situation, I usually ask her, "Does it hurt enough for me to pull it out and try again?"  There has only been one time when she said, "yes."

So, the other day when we were changing the site, it happened to be a bad one...you know, one of the 20%.  But, we got past it with just a few tears and I continued cleaning up the pump site aftermath.  I was just about finished when I heard quiet sobbing from the family room. 

I walked in and found C quietly crying into a pillow on the couch.  I asked her if she was alright, did her site still hurt?  Through her choppy, tearful breathing, she told me her site was fine.  She brought her head up from the pillow, looked me in the eyes and said, "When I grow up, I don't want to have diabetes!"

Well, it didn't take long until we were both sobbing and hugging each other.  Could this have been the moment when her reality hit her square in the heart?  I want to cry right now just thinking about it.  At 8 years old, she was formulating the intelligence to know that diabetes is a life-long disease.  Just like that.  I was at a total loss for words.

We sat.  Hugging.  Crying. 

I have tried with all my might to not let on how scared I really am regarding this disease, at least to her.  I've tried to stay strong, to find the positives in all of it.  We do the 3 month endo visits, the JDRF walks, the fundraisers.  However difficult it is, I reach out to people and share about her diabetes management to those around us.  And, yes, I do cry...but not in front of her.  Never in front of her.  This day was different.  I could not hold it back.

Through leaky eyeballs, I told her how I wish I could take this from her.  If, somehow, God could miraculously remove diabetes from her little body and put it in me...I would gladly accept it.  I told her how sad I was when she was diagnosed.  And how much it hurt my heart to poke and prod her.  She was my baby. 

We did more hugging.  Middle C walked in the room whistling a tune.  He took one look at us, raised his eyebrows, made a 180 degree turn and walked right back out.  Thank God for that.  C and I looked at each other and she gave a little chuckle.

"We must look like a mess!" I said.

Never fear, we ended our sob fest on an upnote.  We both breathed deeply.  I told her what a brave and strong little girl I have.  She, of course, corrected me.  "You know, I am 8 now Mom!"

"Yes, honey, you're a wonderful 8 year old girl."  I said.  And, I let her know that I would always be there to help her with diabetes.  And that we would continue hoping for a cure and doing the best we can. 

"I truly believe God has big plans for you, Sweet-pea.  You're gonna do great things in your life...maybe even because of diabetes."

Honored to Be a Guest...

I am beyond thrilled to be guest posting over @sixuntilme!  Kerri is enjoying the first few weeks of motherhood.  She has been so gracious in allowing others to fill up her blog while she gets to know her new precious baby girl.  And, I was so happy to be her guest!

So, go on over and take a peek...I share about meeting another D mom...this time, in person!  Can you tell I'm excited?!!!

Soothing to My Soul

Life's stressful...don't you think?  Just in general, I mean...for everyone.  I really believe it compounds each year...at least for me.  Life becomes richer with experiences and adventures but can also become more stressful.

And, we've all heard it...how to manage the stress, right?  Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, pray.  Sometimes coffee talk with a good friend does the job.  Take a vacation.  Get a massage.  I used to take a drive to reduce tension...but with gas prices what they are, that idea might raise the stress level!

On our last trip up the coast, our whole family was introduced to a new stress-relieving, calming, peaceful activity:  sea glass hunting.  I have been making the pilgrimage to the Monterey Bay area ever since childhood.  You think I would have discovered this outstanding stress-reducer at some point over the years.  But it took a new friend to mention it to get me to actually do it.  She even hold us the secret location of her favorite sea glass beach!

Well, it took some prompting to get all the kids on board with the idea.  And the husband wasn't really all that interested in it.  But there we went...not entirely sure of what we were hunting.  The kids took off to explore the rocks and tide pools.  Then, I started looking down at the sand.  Sea glass?  What the heck does it look like?  All I saw was sand!  I bent down to get a closer look.  Huh, green.  That's not sand.  I picked up a speck of green glass.  It was tiny, but pretty, smoothed by countless waves driving it into the sand.  Sea glass!  I had found some.

I showed the husband.  He had found some with amber hues.  We dropped to our knees and began sifting through the sand with our hands.  As we made our way up the beach, away from the water we found ourselves finding more and more bits and pieces of these little jewels.  The kids came scurrying over to see what we were holding. 

"Oh, sea glass!" Middle C dropped to his knees and joined in the hunt.  He came across several, beautifully frosted white pieces, rather large.  He had a big smile on his face.

C and Big C were kneeling down next to the husband, enthralled in a unique find of blue.  It was the palest shade of blue, almost in the shape of a teardrop.

"That's beautiful!" I said.  "I want to find some blue too."

So, there we were, now all sitting on the sand moving our hands back and forth just at the surface.  I really had to be down, so close to the ground.  There, I could see the large-grained sand as individual pebbles, beautiful in and of themselves. My hands were feeling heavy and relaxed.

"We really should get going," I said. 

"Yea," the husband replied back. "Maybe a few more minutes."

Twenty minutes later, I found a gorgeous blue piece.  The blue, it seemed, was the most rare to find.  It became the coveted color.  And, when found, we would all shout out "blue one!"

After another 20-30 minutes, I finally mustered up the energy to stand up, gather the kids and begin our accent up the stairs from the beach.  All the while, we walked with our gaze downward for the slight possibility that we would find another treasure.

Last one off the sand?  The husband.  He was hooked.  He even found an old crumpled up silver spoon!  You can see it in the picture below.  Oh, the kids had a great time discussing the pirate ship that must have lost it hundreds of years ago!  (I kept my thoughts to myself. It probably fell out of the restaurant window just above the beach maybe a month ago!)

Our finds of the day!  You may see a ladybug in there, just for good measure...

Sea glass hunting.  It was definitely soothing to my soul.  I've added it to the list of stress-reducing activities.  Now, if I only lived near the beach...

LOST.

It's nothing much to look at.  It's plain, old-fashioned really.  For years I've thought We need to get a new one.  It actually looks like the one I had as a young kid.  But now there are so many cuter choices out there.  So why was I so sad when C had lost it last week?

I'm talking about C's medic alert bracelet:

There are the dog's paws on the floor...she thinks I'm holding a treat!

Halfway through softball practice on Thursday night, she yelled to me "Mom, I lost my bracelet!"  She looked panic-stricken.

I told her that it would be fine...to get back with the team.  She was certain she had it on at the start of practice.  She had taken a pretty big hit in the arm earlier.  Maybe it had come off at that time.  So, I began scouring the field.  One of the coaches came over to help.  We looked and looked.  Nothing.

I told him it was no big deal...that she really needed a new one anyway.  But inside, my emotions took me by surprise.  I was sad.  Gosh, she had worn that thing since the age of 2!  I don't even have a good picture of it.  I was getting all sentimental about it as I walked back and forth over the field.

When practice was over, C gathered her equipment.  As we walked to the car, she said, "Mom, we just have to find my bracelet!  I need it."

"Oh, hopefully we will, honey.  Let's just hope and pray that a nice person finds it and takes the time to call us.  At least our phone number is on it!  And...if we don't find it, we'll order another one...maybe a real cute one with beads on it!"

"Okay," she said.  "But how long will we wait.  You know I really need it in case of an emergency, remember?"

"Yes, honey, I know!  If it doesn't show up in 3 days, we'll get you a new one."  What do you know?  She takes after me.

Oh, and get this:  a baseball dad on our son's team called the very next day and said that his daughter had found C's diabetes bracelet at the field!  He had it and would give it to her on Saturday.  Yay!!  (But, I still think we will order a new cute one soon!)